INTERNATIONAL

Delhi, Agra, Jaipur, Udaipur & Mumbai, INDIA


The first hipsteritus outbreak started in Mumbai (Bombay), India’s port of entry.  It has since ravished this country’s 1.2 billion population.  A whole generation of kids have lost their parents to vanity.  The fearless Hipster Hunter went deep under cover to bring you this special report.  

PROJECT HINDI-ROCK, INDIA

Behold the most stylish mummy on two-wheels!  She’s risen from the grave in search of designer sunglasses…and to give her mom a ride to the hair salon. 


PRETENSION: 2

IRONY: 0 Bugs dead and counting

OCCUPATION: Undead glamour-puss


*Hipster Hunter does not believe in perpetuating ignorance, hence the site.  This woman is actually a part of the Jain religion that do not believe in killing anything, insects and micro-organisms included.  The mask over her face is to prevent her inhaling said life forms.

I-1. HIPSTURBAN


When it comes to kicking game, this Sikh is totally sick!  His red turban with matching tracksuit top and tight black pants causes the panties of any woman in a 2-mile radius to drop.  He just met this girl at a national monument, and her hands are already on a one-way Darjling Limited train ride to pleasure town.  Thumbs up!


PRETENSION: 8

IRONY: 6

OCCUPATION: Indian gigolo

I-2. HINDSTER TWINS


Legend has it these twin hindsters were born at a Ravi Shankar concert during a sitar encore of “Smoke on the Water”.  Their matching glasses, shiny blazers and electric green belts are recognizable from space.  Their 70’s era Hindi-rock groupie mother couldn’t be prouder.


PRETENSION: 10

IRONY: 8

OCCUPATION: Work in Indian Ministry of Cool

I-3. HIPSTER BURKA


Malika is quite the hipster under her burka.  Mom and Grandma stick to the traditional black variety, but she’s total indie-rock in her patterned burka.  She created quite the stir in her community by showing off too much eyebrow, not to mention the white jeans & vintage Guns ‘n Roses tour shirt she wears underneath.


PRETENSION: 0

IRONY: 10

OCCUPATION: Author of Burka Blog

I-4. TAJ MAHIPSTERS


Legend has it the Taj Mahal was built as a testament of love by Shahjahan for late his wife.  Thank Shiva that tradition has evolved even to today where four men can share that same love for another man…the cap-sporting leaning hindster in front.  His friends can’t keep their hands off him.  Plus he’s already assuming the position.  BOOM-CHICKA-WA-WA!


PRETENSION: 9

IRONY: 9

OCCUPATION: Hindu KY Connection

I-5. IMPERIALIST HIPSTER


Nigel’s family came to rape and pillage India over two-hundred-years ago.  While Gandhi was successful in expelling most of the Brits, his grandparents stuck around to give their progeny an edge in the international marketplace.  Grandson Nigel’s a full-fledged hipster who still enjoys the finer points of ex-pat life: servant girls to bang, turbans that match his tight pants, and elephant safari soccer (football to the rest of the world).


PRETENSION: 10

IRONY: 0

OCCUPATION: Imperialist Swine

No one can grow a mustache quite like an Indian hipster.  The irony is just a coincidence because most of these dudes were growing ‘staches way before pretentious Western hipsters declared them “quirky cool”.  To all you dipshitsters from Silverlake to Sydney…you’re about 6000 years too late!


PRETENSION: 3

IRONY: 10,000 B.C.

OCCUPATION: Information Technology, etc.

   I-8. THE BOMBAY FONZIE


Meet the ultimate Bombay Bad boy.  He’s the one all the good Hindu families warn their daughters about.  His macho motorcycle and hipster attire make him the family values public enemy #1.  With an infamous label like that, he easily blows through “good girls” like Kleenex.

 

PRETENSION: 9

IRONY: 8

OCCUPATION: Heartbreaker, love-maker, home-wrecker

The Pee Wee Herman shoes and a billion rupee bank account puts this guy head and shoulders above just about anyone in his league.  Add the designer tight-ass jeans and $400 Armani Exchange t-shirt and you have a God walking among us.  I’m pretty sure he’s one of Vishnu’s countless bastard children. 


PRETENSION: 10 billion rupees

IRONY: $10 million a painting

OCCUPATION: Art God, weren’t you paying attention?

“Hallo, sexy tourist!  My black tanktop shows off my fine sunbathing tan, yes?  My physique is tight like goat anus, yes?  I also buy iPod with arm-strap for good price on eBay.  Great success!  You want make sexy hand party with me?  How much?  Very nice!” 


PRETENSION: 10, He’s a flawless specimen

IRONY: 10, In his own mind

OCCUPATION: Bollywood backup dancer

I-6. HINDI-ROCK HIP’STACHE HALL OF FAME

I-9. ART GOD HINDSTER

I-7.  MUMMIFIED HIPSTER*

I-10. HINDSTER BORAT